By Omar Billawala

Yes.  I confess.  I am a nerd.  I have been for the better part of forty years.  In junior high school (now called “middle school”), kids would endlessly tease me by calling me, “Bowmar” (the name of a calculator sold at that time).  In high school I played chess at lunch, was on the math team, and had zero social life.  But, throughout this time, I loved gadgets–slide rules, digital watches, calculators, and computers–they were my constant companions.

My oldest daughter is starting her first year of high school.  And I am doing a most un-nerd-like (and arguably hypocritical) thing–I am denying her a smartphone.  Her deprivation extends well beyond a smartphone.  She does not get a tablet, a laptop, or even an iPod.  As she tells me, she is almost the only high school student who must do without.  I do truly appreciate the sacrifice that is being forced upon her.  She is losing out on a plethora of resources.  The internet is not at her fingertips–for that she must use a shared computer in our kitchen where we can keep an eye on her or a library computer.  She cannot stream music whereever she is.  She cannot text her friends to coordinate meeting and she cannot shop/read/check weather/review her calendar/etc. from wherever she happens to be.

Just to show that I am not totally inhuman, I did let my daughter get an email account this summer and, along with it, a Google Plus account.  I also let her use a flip-phone.  Still, she feels deprived.

I assuage my conscience by reasoning that my daughter now will spend less time:

• texting;
• snapchatting;
• (insert any social network here)’ing;
• surfing the web;
• shopping on the web;
• playing highly addictive computer games;
• checking email; and
• watching videos.

I know this hurts.  She feels left out.  Coordinating rides to after-school activities is more of a challenge.  Keeping up with her friends is more difficult.  

Not having a smartphone makes many things more difficult.  She will have to be more resourceful without the tech version of a swiss army knife constantly at her side.  She will need to be more coordinated and more foresighted in her planning.  She will have to use pen and paper more and write things down.  She will have to find things to do with the time that video games would otherwise be taking up.  She may even have to spend more time talking with people.  These are indeed heavy burdens to place on a fourteen-year-old girl, but, as I think more about it, these are the kinds of challenges that I want my daughter to face, to conquer.

I am certain that I would receive much appreciation and gratitude if I were to give her a smartphone.  As a parent these are things you cherish receiving from your children.  But, as a parent, we are tasked with doing what we can to give our children the best chance to succeed later in life.  Though I feel a bit isolated in my beliefs (and, at some point, I may end up joining the crowd), at present I feel I am doing right by my daughter.